Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Week 1 Weigh In - Yaaaayy!!!!

Well, it's been a tough week. I've had two wee moments of weakness that I'm not ready to talk about just but that I will later. I was really worried how they would effect me being in ketosis, and also how they would effect the amount of weight I'd loose this week. But luckily, I have good news :)

My total weight loss this week was 11.8lbs !!!! :D I am so chuffed with myself for managing this, and it makes me even more determined to stick rigidly to the plan this week and avoid the mini-lapses I had this week. Woohoo, excited!! I would love to be able to say this time next week that I've broken the one stone barrier... we shall see!

Photo via Flickr

The photo isn't me by the way, it's just how I'm feeling right now :)

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Halfway through week 1...

So I've been on the new eating plan for the past four days. Its been easier than I was expecting, although not easy. I keep trying to think about how great it will feel on weigh-in day (Wednesday) to see that I've stuck with it and lost some weight. Every now and then I get wee, niggly thoughts telling me that I want to go to KFC or have a sandwich or something, but then I try and counter those thoughts with all the good things that weight loss will bring. I thought I'd share some of those things with you here :)

Photo by D Sharon Pruitt, via Flickr

Feeling healthier and more full of energy
Less joint pain and crunchy knees
Being able to cross my legs properly when I sit
Being able to make pillowcase dresses
Shopping for clothes will be fun and not make me cry
Being able to buy clothes from vintage shops and charity shops
Wearing cute little tea dresses and bright coloured tights
Dancing without feeling like a huge, wobbly mess
Being able to sit comfortably in chairs and not worry about bulgey bits spilling everywhere
Being able to wear rings and jewellery that don't fit me anymore :(
Not being petrified of cameras and having my photo taken anymore
My work T-shirts fitting again
Feeling able to try things like rock climbing and pole fitness
Just generally feeling more happy and confident and healthy

I'm sure there are other things, and I will make a point of writing about them here to keep myself motivated. What keeps you motivated and on track when you find things difficult?

Sah x

Monday, 10 January 2011

Conquering the fear...

So in my last post I mentioned that I was going to post my 'before' photos. Well, despite peeing my pants with scaredness, I'm gonna do it. I don't know what the big deal is, I mean I walk around every day and any one can see what I look like. But some how this is really quite daunting.

I guess when you're just going about your normal life, you kind of forget about your body, sort of. You can cover up the bits you don't like, or chuck on a big baggy jumper and pretend it doesn't exist. But taking photos of yourself in skimpy clothes that reveal all the lumps and bumps and don't allow you to hide... well, its just plain scary! Add that to the fact I'm posting them online and potentially leaving myself wide open to abuse from anyone who comes across them - ARGH!

However, despite all of that I'm going to do it. I see this as an important part of my shrinking process, as it will allow me to really see the difference in my body as the weight comes off. Sometimes it can be hard to acknowledge the progress you've made as you're still the same fat person when you look in the mirror. Hopefully, these photos will counterbalance that.

Vital stats on photo day...
Weight: 19st 10lb
Height: 5' 10"
Goal Weight: 12st
Weight Lost: 0

So there we are, that's me, warts and all. I can't wait to be able to see my waist and for my stomach to be smaller than my boobs! The official eating plan starts on Jan 16th so in just over a week - wish me luck!

Thursday, 6 January 2011

An introduction...

Hello! I love shiny, new blogs! But sometimes its so hard to know what to write, it can be a bit intimidating. What is this blog all about?? And who am I? Well I will try and explain...

My name is Sarah or Sah for short :) I live in Glasgow, Scotland with my boyfriend and our cat Ruby. I'm 26, I'm a bit of a geek, and right now I'm really struggling with my weight.

I've always been 'big', ever since I was a kid. I've also been bullied about it for most of my life and had people make negative comments about how I look. In my head, no matter what I look like and what the scales say, I am fat and ugly and therefore worthless. That's really quite an extreme statement, and if any of my friends were to say something like that about themselves I'd be the first to tell them they're crazy and not to be so horrible to themselves. However, its totally fine for me to do the same thing to myself.

My weight has gone up and down over the years. I've tried low-calorie diets, low carb diets, soup diets, diet pills and laxatives, battled with bulimia and tried to starve myself. All of which has lead to me eventually giving up and piling the weight back on. I'm now the biggest I've ever been.

I've recently reached a point where I know I need to loose weight and live more healthily. I get out of breath so easily, I'm unfit, my joints hurt, I'm tired all the time and feel like an old lady. Its hard to buy clothes that fit and that look nice. I feel horrible whenever I see myself in the mirror or in photos. I hate going out and feel like everyone is looking at me in disgust. I feel like I must be an embarrassment to be seen with. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING! I WANT TO DO SOMETHING! And whatever it is, it must be something that I can maintain for life.

On the 19th of January 2011, I will be joining a group and starting an eating plan that will be hard to maintain but will help me loose as much weight as I feel I need to. At the same time, I will be learning the skills and habits I will need to make sure I can maintain my new weight for life, and improve my relationship with food and my body. The whole process is likely to last between 6 and 12 months and will be very, very difficult. It will also be the most life-changing and amazing thing I will have ever done.

This blog is my way of documenting the process I will be going through, and hopefully learning to love myself a little bit more. I don't want it to be an advert for the diet, so rather than talking about that I will be using it like a journal to reflect on things, to explore my relationship with food and my body, to post photos that will show my weight loss and (probably) to moan when things get difficult! :) But also to celebrate when things are awesome!

The next post will be really, really hard for me. I plan to take some 'before' photos and share with you some intimate details like, you know, **whispers** my weight, measurements etc. It'll be a baseline against which I will be measuring the 'shrinking of Sah. '

So yeah, that's what its all about and what you can expect. Thanks so much for sharing this journey with me.

Sah x