Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Sorry for the late update, I was away at the Edinburgh Fringe for a few days over the weekend and so didn't get a chance to do this on Sunday. Unlike last week, I have been feeling pretty proud of myself for more or less completing all my goals this week!

Goal 1: Have breakfast every day. This will be a 300 cal meal which is mainly protein based.

I did this! I didn't miss breakfast once, it wasn't always 300 cals but it was usually close to it and I really felt the benefit! I had things like pork medallion and green beans, salmon and green beans, and scrambled eggs and mushrooms. Nom nom nom! It may not seem like breakfasty food, but starting the day with protein and veg is really filling and sustaining.

Goal 2: Eat more vegetables this week, trying to have them with every meal.

I did this one too! I feel like I've been eating nothing but veg, including yummy things like spinach, aubergine, mushrooms, carrots, peppers, courgettes, red onions, green beans and soya beans. I'm hoping that after a few weeks of doing this, I'm going to notice a real improvement in my skin, digestion etc.

Goal 3: Go for a walk three times this week.

Yeah, didn't manage this one so much... at all... but I did do some of a new exercise DVD that I bought so I'd like to maybe try and do more of that this week and gradually build up to exercising outside where people can see me... !

This weeks goals are -

Goal 1: Have 5 small meals a day, about one every four hours

Goal 2: Drink more water & tea and less diet fizz

Goal 3: Do my DVD twice this week

If you've got some goals of your own this week, I'd love to hear them!

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Week 1 Goal Reflection

Wow, this week has flown by so quickly! I can't believe it is Sunday already. So last week I set myself 3 goals for the week and it's now time to reflect on how I did and what my goals for next week will be.

Goal 1: Use the Noom app on my phone to log all my meals. Sticking within the calorie allowance isn't important, just use it every day to log every single thing eaten.

So this didn't go brilliantly. I did use it, but only logged what I ate for about 25% of the week. The first couple of days went really well, but I ended up having a bingey Wed/Thurs/Fri and couldn't being myself to actually work out the total calories of what I ate. I've been spending time thinking about why I binged, rather than thinking about what I ate and how stupid it was - as that just continues the 'shame cycle.'

When I do use the app, I really like it and find it really useful and fun. I'm also trying to concentrate on this and get into a habit of using it all the time. I think giving myself a calorie goal for the day, rather than what I did last week which gave me 'permission' to eat whatever I wanted, is going to help me keep my calorie intake down. I'm looking forward to using it this week and trying to keep that positive feeling in the front of my mind.

Goal 2: Go jogging three times this week, using the Couch to 5k programme.

I had great intentions for completing this goal, I really did. But I didn't. At all. I don't have any excuses, other than being a bit busy at work. But getting regular exercise is something I really, really want to do. I did two Race For Life runs in July this year. It wasn't that long ago but I seem to have lost the motivation to get out there and run that I had.

One of the biggest blocks I have around this is a fear of exercising in front of people. The thought of randoms seeing me run gives me knots in my stomach. With this in mind, my exercise goal for this week will be to walk rather than jog as it will at least get me out there, and I can start to knock down the mental block I have at the moment.

Goal 3: Have porridge with a different topping for breakfast every day this week.

While I didn't do this every day, I did do it for 5 out of 7 days, which isn't too bad. I really loved this goal and took some photos to document it :)

The different toppings pictured are honey, honey and almonds, and the one on my desk at work was blueberry and apple flavour porridge. Yum, yum, yum!

So finally, here are my goals for this week. I've tried to learn from what I did (or didn't do!) over the past week and build that into this week's goals.

Goal 1: Have breakfast every day. This will be a 300 cal meal which is mainly protein based.

Goal 2: Eat more vegetables this week, trying to have them with every meal.

Goal 3: Go for a walk three times this week.

Wish me luck! If you have set yourself some goals, tell me about them. I wish you loads of luck with yours x

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Stop wishing, start acting!

Right, I have spent the past few days wishing I had more self-control, wishing I was thin, beating myself up for failing or not even trying in the first place, but not actually DOING anything! Enough is enough. I am the only one who can change things or make things happen in terms of my body and weight and health. I need to stop talking and start doing!

There is no point in making grand plans or big goals, I will just be setting myself up to fail again and putting myself under so much pressure that I just don't need. From now on, there is no failure. I need smaller, more realistic goals if I'm ever going to get anywhere. The areas of my life that I need to change are pretty huge and complex. I need to break all of that down into baby steps that I can gradually work on.

So, each week I am setting myself 3 small goals. I will reflect on these at the end of each week, and then set myself 3 more for the week ahead. Simple!

Here are my goals for this week:

1. Use the Noom app on my phone to log all my meals. Sticking within the calorie allowance isn't important, just use it every day to log every single thing eaten.

2. Go jogging three times this week, using the Couch to 5k programme.

3. Have porridge with a different topping for breakfast every day this week.

If you decide to do something similar I'd love to read your goals - leave a link in the comments below!

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Self Sabotage: Part Two

Well, its been ages since I last posted here. Lots of things have changed, mainly as a result of my lack of motivation and in-built tendency for 'self sabotage.'

A quick update...

About two months ago now, I decided to come off of my VLCD that I was following. After posting my before and after pics, I hit a bit of a wall. My motivation plummeted, I fell off the wagon diet-wise and couldn't seem to get back on. I had excuses at the time, but now I'm not really sure why it happened, its all a bit foggy. In my heart, though, I know that if I really wanted to still be on that diet then I would be. Now I am avoiding the scales and seem to have slipped back into 'comfort eating mode', detaching myself from my body and my weight. It feels a bit shit, to be honest! I had put myself into a position where I was putting pressure on myself (and imagining pressure from other people) and my reaction to that pressure was to run and hide behind denial and food.

I don't want to be here feeling like this. It will become an endless cycle of feeling rubbish for not being able to stick to something, so comfort eating to make myself feel better or to blot out the bad feelings, which just creates more shame and feeling rubbish, which causes me to comfort eat etc. etc. etc.

In the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to come up with a 'healthy eating plan' that will help me loose weight over a longer period of time. I seem to manage a day or two before I'm back to my old tricks. I don't really know what to do.

I know I want to loose weight. I don't like what I see in the mirror and I hate the way clothes cling to bulges etc. I don't feel confident, I just want to hide. I don't want to be skinny though, just smaller than I am now. I would like to loose about another 3 stone which should take me down to about a size 16. I'd be happy with that. But for whatever reason I can't seem to get back in the zone.

I keep thinking about this phrase that I come across a lot: "If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got." Or something like that. It's very true, I feel. Right now, I am eating the way I ate to reach the weight I was at my biggest. This has got to change, however that seems to be easy to say, harder to do...

I didn't mean for this to be quite so ranty, but it feels good to get it out of my head. Loosing weight, eating and food seem to be all I think about at the moment, and it sucks. I need to get past these negative feelings and find a more positive way forward. Hopefully I'll have something a bit more positive to write about sometime soon xxx

Friday, 15 April 2011

3 Months Later...

So I've not posted for a little while, but I thought you might like to see my newest photos. Its been roughly 3 months since I started Lighter Life, and I've lost 40lbs so far!! I am overwhelmed but very very pleased. Until I saw these pictures the other evening, I really didn't feel like I had lost that much weight and struggled to notice much difference in my body. I hope you'll agree when you see these pics that actually there is a big difference in my body and that loosing the weight is the best decision I've ever made! Only another 80lbs to go now !!

Sah xxx

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Self-sabotage: Part One

I googled self-sabotage before writing this post, to see what was out there on this topic. As I imagined, there were a lot of websites promising to share their secrets and tricks with you - for a small fee of course ;)

At first this made me feel a bit frustrated. Self-sabotage is something I am struggling with at the moment, and that I know has caused me problems in the past. I don't seem to be able to shake myself free of the negative thoughts that go round in my head, and the subconcious put-downs I seem to constantly carry around with me.

I've been to counselling, I've read so many books, I know the theory. Think positive thoughts, keep focussed, I am worthy person etc... The trouble is that I don't believe them or seem to be able to make them stick in my head.

And the fact that so many people seem willing to charge you so that you can be let in on the big secret makes me feel that actually they probably don't have the answers at all. But also, that I can't be the only one looking for the answer! When I realised that, I felt relieved and not quite so useless. I'm not the only person who is secretly telling themselves that they don't deserve happiness or to succeed.

But how can I/we start to change that internal monologue and believe in something more positive? Right now, I still don't know! But just realising that I'm not the only one and that I'm not as crazy as I thought makes me feel a bit better. Its also why this post is just Part One. I want to explore this further and try to counter-balance my self sabotaging behaviour with something new. I want to maximise my chances of reaching my weight-loss goal and (importantly) maintaining it - something that I will only manage if I can stop my innerthoughts sabotaging what I'm trying to achieve. I can't guarantee that any of this will work for you, or that whatever I try is something you should try too. But it might be interesting, it might be reassuring, it might be motivating, it might make you feel like you're not alone either.

Photo via Flickr

I'd love to know your thoughts, as ever your comments are welcome and appreciated and I read them all x

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Quick Wednesday Weigh-In

This is just a really, really quick update on how my weight loss is going. Tonight I was weighed and this week have lost 2 lbs, which takes my total weight loss up to 30 lbs!! :D So chuffed! I have lots of other stuff to talk about and some ideas for different posts, and I promise I will write some more soon. I plan to give myself some chill out time just to blog and reflect on everything over the next week or so. Speak to you soon x