Hello! I love shiny, new blogs! But sometimes its so hard to know what to write, it can be a bit intimidating. What is this blog all about?? And who am I? Well I will try and explain...
My name is Sarah or Sah for short :) I live in Glasgow, Scotland with my boyfriend and our cat Ruby. I'm 26, I'm a bit of a geek, and right now I'm really struggling with my weight.
I've always been 'big', ever since I was a kid. I've also been bullied about it for most of my life and had people make negative comments about how I look. In my head, no matter what I look like and what the scales say, I am fat and ugly and therefore worthless. That's really quite an extreme statement, and if any of my friends were to say something like that about themselves I'd be the first to tell them they're crazy and not to be so horrible to themselves. However, its totally fine for me to do the same thing to myself.
My weight has gone up and down over the years. I've tried low-calorie diets, low carb diets, soup diets, diet pills and laxatives, battled with bulimia and tried to starve myself. All of which has lead to me eventually giving up and piling the weight back on. I'm now the biggest I've ever been.
I've recently reached a point where I know I need to loose weight and live more healthily. I get out of breath so easily, I'm unfit, my joints hurt, I'm tired all the time and feel like an old lady. Its hard to buy clothes that fit and that look nice. I feel horrible whenever I see myself in the mirror or in photos. I hate going out and feel like everyone is looking at me in disgust. I feel like I must be an embarrassment to be seen with. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING! I WANT TO DO SOMETHING! And whatever it is, it must be something that I can maintain for life.
On the 19th of January 2011, I will be joining a group and starting an eating plan that will be hard to maintain but will help me loose as much weight as I feel I need to. At the same time, I will be learning the skills and habits I will need to make sure I can maintain my new weight for life, and improve my relationship with food and my body. The whole process is likely to last between 6 and 12 months and will be very, very difficult. It will also be the most life-changing and amazing thing I will have ever done.
This blog is my way of documenting the process I will be going through, and hopefully learning to love myself a little bit more. I don't want it to be an advert for the diet, so rather than talking about that I will be using it like a journal to reflect on things, to explore my relationship with food and my body, to post photos that will show my weight loss and (probably) to moan when things get difficult! :) But also to celebrate when things are awesome!
The next post will be really, really hard for me. I plan to take some 'before' photos and share with you some intimate details like, you know, **whispers** my weight, measurements etc. It'll be a baseline against which I will be measuring the 'shrinking of Sah. '
So yeah, that's what its all about and what you can expect. Thanks so much for sharing this journey with me.
Sah x
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